


until you're in my arms again

by flightofwonder



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nile Freeman Week 2020, Nile Week 2020, Nile is a millennial and derives comfort from Disney movies, Realistic Depictions of Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightofwonder/pseuds/flightofwonder
Summary: Joe was the only one who would watch and cry over Disney movies with her.
Relationships: Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani
Comments: 13
Kudos: 156





	until you're in my arms again

**Author's Note:**

> For Nile Freeman week on tumblr. Prompt: Sadness.  
> tumblr: [flightsofwonder](https://flightsofwonder.tumblr.com/)

Nile learned that there are some experiences she was only supposed to share with certain members of her new family. For example, Nicky was the only one of the four of them who would willingly sit with Nile and teach her the distinctions between types of sniper rifles and types of seasoning for focaccia. Andy was the only one who would spar with her in the middle of the night when they were both feeling restless and unmoored.

And Joe was the only one who would watch and cry over Disney movies with her.

“You’re weeping over those computer movies again, aren’t you?”

“It’s _Coco!_ ” Nile and Joe exclaimed at the exact same time, as if that explained everything. Nile threw a pillow at her and Joe booed Andy out of the room until she rolled her eyes and finally closed the door behind her.

It became something to help her cope long before she was immortal. Every once in a while, Nile would get overwhelmed with a complicated kind of sadness that threatened to leave her rotting away in her bed for days on end. Nothing helped her feel _better_ , per se, but her mom figured out that sitting with her while they distracted themselves with Disney movies helped her ride out the storm. Stories that gave her room to cry, but still left her with some hope at the end.

She thought she had to leave that coping mechanism behind with her new family – she knew that everyone had their shit and their ways to deal with it, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried about some judgment from these badass immortal warriors – until Nile noticed Joe tearing up over a commercial involving a lesbian couple and their deaf kid.

Since then, not only did she give up on hiding behind a brave face when they watched movies as a family that made her emotional (“oh God, we’ve got two movie criers now,” Andy bemoaned, but Joe never made a move to defend or justify himself, so neither did Nile), but when they were between missions and her depression was particularly staggering, she’d text Joe to come and watch whatever movie she thought could keep her afloat. She managed it on missions, but sometimes it got worse when she wasn’t looking. She’d tried just watching movies by herself, but it wasn’t the same without someone sitting with her through it. The sting of realization that her mama would never sit on the couch next to her again only made it all worse.

Nile never explained this to Joe, not so overly, but he did come and settle on the couch next to Nile every time she asked. Joe was smart when it came to people, though, so she wasn’t really surprised when he started coming in with an extra blanket or a cup of hot tea. Nile fought the urge to push away these attempts of comfort at first, having to remind herself that Joe never once apologized for crying, and eventually took them with as much gratefulness as she could muster in her state.

Even now as she rubbed her eyes when Andy disappeared behind the door, she had to challenge her internal instinct to be ashamed. _You come from warriors_ , and that was true. Her mama had always pushed her to be self-reliant and strong and brave. She also shared a blanket and watched a sappy movie with her when her mind was being particularly unkind.

Her mama wasn’t here anymore, but Nile could still use all the gifts and tools she gave her to keep moving forward. And on the days she couldn’t, she would use what she had to just to get to tomorrow.

Joe wasn’t her mama, and Nile didn’t want him to be. She wanted him to be his artistically enthusiastic self who got attached to both stories and people with any amount of heart in them. The way he wrapped an arm around Nile’s shoulder so she could cry against his shirt wasn’t at all like the way her mama gently shushed her and stroked her back. And that was okay.

As music crooned from the TV during the finale, Joe dramatically wiped his eyes with one arm before resting it on Nile’s shoulder again. Tears still rolled down her cheeks, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away, quietly basking in the comfort of Joe’s body heat and the fuzzy blanket tucked on top of them.

It wasn’t always about feeling better. Some days, it was just about keeping her head above water. And sometimes, just sitting in a room and crying over movies with someone she loved was enough to help keep the tide at bay.


End file.
